Starting Back Up Again

  • taking up a personal writing challenge and taking advantage of the fact that I have this space to share and track.

How do you feel? How does your creative energy flow in your workspace? What are your goals for yourself? What are you trying to accomplish?

So many questions and not enough answers. I feel…sensitive, vulnerable, and in need. I discovered a song with lyrics that take me back to how I’ve always wished love to be like. How I wished for love when I was young and innocent. Before all the heartbreaks, indecision, and distrust.

My creative energy feels like a my car when it tries going up a hill while the AC is on. It’s a long and slow climb and not what I was expecting. But taking a look around my space, my creative energy flows through the plants and their placement around the room. Each place at a spot that I feel will best meet their needs and support their growth (it’s worked out pretty well for most of them).

Goals for myself are always unclear. I just want to end up somewhere with more than what I have now. More understanding, patience, and experience. More feelings of accomplishment and better creative flow.

I just want to accomplish seeing something all the way through and being able to track it. Being able to notice and applaud my growth once this is over is something I’m looking forward to and need to keep in mind year-round. My favorite part of almost anything is witnessing and noticing growth. The excitement and anticipation are what keeps me going and aiming higher. It’s the beginning and sticking to it that holds me further back.

Not sure why I get mental blocks but it is my hope that this will combat that and I’ll be able to look at this post specifically a year from now and marvel at the difference and learned experiences.

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