The constant back and forth in my head

How is it possible that I’m always on the verge of tears yet I never cry?

It’s as if my heart is slowly breaking apart with each passing day. And I know I shouldn’t take things so personally, not when our foundation was never strong to begin with. How could I expect more? When did we lose it? Where did your interest go? What did I do?

I try not to ask myself those questions because I don’t think I’ll ever get an answer. Or maybe there is no answer to it at all because I’ve read too much into it when I should’ve just seen it for what it is. Temporary and shallow.

All I want to do is cry out in frustration. All I want to do is leave. All I want is better from you. For me.

It just is so frustrating! You present yourself in such an interesting way in front of others yet when it’s just us two…it’s softer, comfortable, but still out of reach somehow. How does any of that make sense?

I guess we’re both just indecisive and in denial. I don’t want to leave and neither do you but you can’t seem to give me more and I’m getting tired.

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