I can’t say I’m the same person I was a year ago and I think that’s okay. I definitely have lost a lot but I’ve gained so much in other ways.
I’m still not confident in my abilities but I feel okay about jumping into the unknown. It’s gotten me this far so I guess that’s worth something, right?
I feel as if my self-esteem has been dealt a huge blow and I’m the greatest liar ever because I don’t think anyone has noticed. I’m constantly battling with myself and my inability to allow myself to be vulnerable in front of some of my most trusted friends. I know they would understand but I just want to move forward and exposing my truths will only stall everything. If I share my concerns and insecurities then we are going to end up digging deeper and unpacking my baggage and that’s just way too much to dig through.
I need to figure out how to be better so I can do better.